I'm A Lighthouse
Author Unknown
This is a story of a battleship cruising the Atlantic off the northern coast of Maine one stormy evening.
The commander of the battleship was notified. "Sir, there's a light ahead. Oncoming vessel."
"Signal oncoming vessel, 'Change your course ten degrees to the west.'"
The message was sent, but a light flashed back, "Change your course ten degrees to the east."
The commander barked, "Signal again, 'Change your course ten degrees to the west. I am an admiral."
The light flashed back. "Change your course ten degrees to the east. I'm a seaman third class."
By this time the admiral was incensed as he thundered, "Signal again. 'Change your course ten degrees to the west. I am a battleship."
And the message came back, "Change your course ten degrees to the east. I am a lighthouse."
I love this story because we are SO not in control of our lives. This is something that I have had to accept. I have wanted SO badly to control everyone and everything around me because I felt SO out of control on the inside.
Daily I would wake up and make a to-do list and rarely accomplish what was on it. Not because of lack of desire, but probably to sabotage myself so I could eat. I want an organized happy home. I want things in their place, I want well behaved children. I just wanted someone else to do it so I wasn't held responsible if something went wrong.
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. For me it was all or nothing. If I can't accomplish it all today, I won't do anything (Said the spoiled little girl). I would then sit and pout about what a failure I was, how lazy I was. Then I would go eat something then beat myself up for eating the wrong things then eat more etc.
I am not in control, Heaven Father created me and created a plan for my life. Do I really think that he wants me chained up in my mind to these obsessive thoughts??? NO! Do I really think he wants me trapped in my body?? NO! Do I really think he wants me to ABUSE myself with food and hurtful abusive behaviors??? NO!
Did you read that? Men are that they might have
JOY!!
That did not say "Annie I made you so that you could abuse yourself and make life miserable with MOMENTS of happiness." It said "I Made you so you could have JOY, peace, Happiness, and Enjoy this precious life I designed JUST FOR YOU!"
I fought to have a body in heaven. I FOUGHT to come down here and receive this beautiful gift that I have been taking for granted. We knew there were things we couldn't do without a body and we FOUGHT to get one.
Heavenly father then went even further to give us a plan to take care of our bodies. He gave us the word of wisdom with the promise that if we followed it, we would Walk and Not be weary, run and not be faint.
I am grateful to a loving MERCIFUL Father who knows me. Who made me and knows my weaknesses. All I had to do was see them for myself and ask for his help.
I know that without him, and my savior I will NEVER break these habits and overcome my weaknesses.
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