2012 in review

2012 was a ROUGH year for me personally!

I was pregnant, hormonal, questioned everyone and everything in my life. It was a tough, tough year.

July brought the birth of our sweet baby girl Amelia, who I could not be more in love with. She is SUCH a joy and wonderful edition to our little bunch. She is so happy and smiley! I am so blessed that she is a good baby! She is definately a sweet spirit and a great caboose in our train! SO glad I decided I wasn't done after Sawyer!!!

Ava is growing and learning so so much! She is so smart! She is in Preschool and can write her name (and other simple words), is learning to read, and remembers everything she learns! She loves to entertain people. She loves to sing and dance and put a smile on others faces. She is a great helper and loves being a big sister. She is helpful and kind. She loves Disney Princesses and can't WAIT to go to Disneyland.

Sawyer is our comedian. He is loving and silly. He loves to perform too. He follows his sister around and does everything she does. He is learning his numbers, colors, and shapes. He is headstrong and has his own opinion on how he wants to do things. He is a courious boy who likes to learn and explore. He is sensitive and loves one on one attention. He definately tries our patience, but we love him all the more for it.

Rob graduated from SLCC in the spring and started going to the U of U in the fall. It was a challenging transition, but he pulled off his first sememster at the U with a 3.3 GPA!!! Whoot! He is trying really hard to balance school, work, and being a great daddy and husband.


I think it is safe to say we are all excited for 2013 and all the new fun adventures it will bring!

Happy Birthday to me!

Howdy ya'll! I turned 32 yesterday. I got really spoiled and am grateful to have such generous parents, family, and friends!

This year is going to be great! I am excited for 32 and all the great things this year will bring!

I am going to kill it this year and SLAY some major dragons that have been DRAGGIN me down!

I am finally going to enter one-der land (under 200 lbs) and NEVER leave it again!

I am going to set a good healthy example to my kids!
We are going to take a much needed vacation to DISNEYLAND!!!
We are going to retire our trusty Nissan (that was the first car I personally bought all on my own) and upgrade to a family car!!! WHOOT!

We are going to strive to be better and more loving and kind to each other.

I am going to stop yelling and keep my calm!

I am so ready to start 2013!!!


What are your goals???

Green Monster

This is my favorite fast smoothie!

 

Green Monster

1/2 can of pineapple with 1/2 the juice

handful of fresh spinach

1/2 frozen banana

1 scoop protein powder

1 tbsp chia seeds

ice

Enjoy! What are your favorite smoothie combinations??

The Monster

You probably all know The Monster all too well. The monster is when you can't stop eating. It feels like anything and everything unhealthy is calling your name and you must eat it or else! The monster visited me this week BIG TIME.

I have exercised three days this week though so that is good.

I went today and stocked up on good healthy stuff so that if that Monster comes back I can defeat him!!!    

I got salad stuff, pomegranate seeds, mango slices, yogurt, cottage cheese, lunch meat, and NO Sabotage food!

No no food for me is
chips, cookies, candy, chocolate, crackers, and peanuts.  I can't keep them in the house. Now that I have been honest about this, and know I can't even buy it "for the kids" I hope the monster will leave me alone!


What are your no-no foods???

Get your Sweat on!

Here is my workout schedule for the week!
Monday- Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout DVD + Arms at home
Tuesday- Pilates at the gym
Wed.- Muscle Works at the gym
Thurs- Cardio Circuit at the gym
Friday- Jillian Michaels yoga + Legs at home

Here are some of my favorite songs to workout to.

Now or Never by Outasight

Yeah 3 x's by Chris Brown

Shake it- Metro Station

What are some good fast beat workout songs you like? What is your favorite at home workout?

SALAD!

So for Lunch I am eating salads. I have found some AWESOME dressings to keep things fresh and exciting! I am going to tell you my favorite lunch combos!

1.Southwest Sizzle!
I am PICKY about pre-cooked meat. I HATE finding funky things while I am eating. These little yummies are a winner. I top Romaine lettuce with Cherry tomatoes these chicken strips, Sunflower seeds, and Sliced Cheese that I cut in strips
Yumm! 40 calories per slice. I use half a slice.
THEN this dressing is A MUST! If you don't have Trader Joe's, I am sorry!
It is 45 calories for 2 TBSP and tastes like Cafe Rio/Costa Vida dressing SOOO Good!

2. Chef Salad

I take romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, and hard boiled egg whites ( I cheat and buy precooked eggs) top with a reduced fat cheese slice cut in strips and deli meat cut in strips. Top with this AMAZING ranch.
I is 40 calories for 2 TBSP and tastes BETTER than regular full fat ranch!

3. Classic Caesar
Foster Farms Chicken strips, Romaine, Reduced fat Parmesan cheese, Cherry Tomatoes then top with a few Caesar Snap pea crisps for crunch. The dressing I use is
 Creamy, Yummy, and 45 calories!


4. Stir fry salad

Romaine, Edamame shelled, Chicken, a few slivered almonds and these babies
just heat and put on top of your salad. Then add this dressing
 I only use 1 TBSP because it is 70 calories for 2. A Little goes a long way though. SO Tasty!

5. I have saved my favorite for last! If you have read this far, you deserve a REWARD!

Apple Crisp Salad

Romaine, Diced apples, 1 tbsp candied pecans, green onions, fat free feta cheese, chicken and This dressing is a MUST!
SO good! 45 calories for 2 tbsp! Thank me later!


What are your favorite salads???

Reasons I hate being Fat

I am writing this in case I forget.....

In case I want to eat an entire bag of Oreos.....

In case I want to give up.....

1. I hate clothes.... I either have to order online (they never fit right), shop at the grandma section, or spend big $$$ at Torrid or Lane Bryant.....

2. I am TIRED! I don't want to be lazy, I just have NO ENERGY! EVER!

3. I run out of breath! I can't run and chase my kids, Bounce at a bounce house, or climb the stairs to my apartment.

4. I jiggle. I hate running on the treadmill for this reason, but I suck it up because At least I am doing something!

5. I can't look at myself from the neck down. I hate mirrors, windows, and pictures

6. I hurt. My back, knees, joints all hurt.

7. I get sores. Skin sores and they aren't fun.

8. Rashes.

9. The looks from other people. If I go into a "Normal store" I either get the look or someone asks me if I am looking for a gift for someone.

10. I wanna look cute. I see cute clothes all the time and get frusterated that I can't find anything cute trendy and fashionable.

11. Shoes. I love cute fun shoes. I settle for comfortable, flat shoes so I don't fall.

12. Falling. Snow, Ice, My ankles giving out, tripping. Falling for me could mean breaking something.

13. I am much more reserved because I am ashamed of my weight. I am not outgoing or outspoken because I am embarrassed.

14. I am playing small not being my true self. I am holding myself back and I hate that!

15. I want to be inspiring and Proud of myself.

16. All this makes me unhappy. I just want to be happy again......

Weight History

I thought I would write a post about my Weight History.

I have been chubby my whole life. Well except when I was a little little girl. I started gaining weight around 4.

I have always been the funny, fat friend, with the pretty face.

I Have tried EVERY diet, pill, shake, fad, out there.

At 22 I thought a MIRACLE happened when I got a gastric bypass. At the time I weighed 325 lbs. That was and still is the heaviest I have ever been! There is a picture of me at 325 on this video I made if you are interested.....

It was absolutely incredible! I lost 100 lbs. in 4 months. I was a whole new me. I felt SEXY for the first time ever in my life. I still weighed 220, but to me I was TINY!




I hadn't been that small since my Sophomore year in high school.

I felt amazing. I couldn't eat anything without throwing up, but hey I looked awesome!

I felt confident and so light. I was beaming pretty much all the time.

My head didn't have time to take in all these new changes.

Instead of learning healthy habits, I jumped into finding a husband.

I dated and dated and dated.

I had never really dated before and never really had positive attention from guys.

This was incredible and heartbreaking for me.

I learned that some guys are jerks and superficial and will take advantage of you.

Then I found my husband. He loved me right away and loved me just as I was.

 

I got married and comfortable and gained about 40 lbs......

NOT FUN!

Then I got pregnant.

I actually lost 20 lbs being pregnant but that is neither here nor there.....

I tried to lose weight but, when Ava was 6 months old, I got pregnant again...

That pregnancy had complications and I had Sawyer at 29 weeks. I lost weight with him!

I was 230 in this picture. This was right after Sawyer was born. He was still in the NICU at the time. I again felt really good.

I tried REALLY hard to lose weight after Sawyer. I had a trainer ate really well and still somehow managed to bounce around between 220 and 235.

Then we moved. I was so stressed out that I put on 15 pounds in about 2 months.....

I became frustrated and depressed. HOW could I do this to myself AGAIN!

Then I got pregnant again.

This is right after Amelia was born July 2012

I think I was about 262 in this picture.....AHHHH!

I have dropped 10 pounds since Amelia's birth in July.

I want this to be my LAST starting post......

I want this time to be the one that sticks.....

Slow and steady wins the race right???

So as for now, I am counting those calories, and working out 5 times a week.

MY FIRST GOAL is to RUN a 5k in the spring...

Yes I said ME and RUN in the same sentence.

Anyone want to run with me??? You know, If I pass out or something....LOL


Joy in the Journey!

Weighty Truth

I Have been MIA and I am sorry. If anyone is even still out there...... Our Computer broke SOOO what little time I get on the computer, is using Rob's Laptop. Since it is Winter break for him at school, I may get a few posts in! WAHOOO! So tonight, I have some thoughts I wanted to jot down. I have been reading lots of inspiring blogs lately on my good ol' itouch! Women who have lost weight and now live an inspiring life.

 

You Guys! I want it so bad! What is holding me back??? What makes them successful and me not!!!

 

Another guy who inspires me is named Shay Carl. He has a youtube channel the Shaytards and I watch it all the time. He has lost over 100 lbs also. The other day he said something that hit me. He said There are many weight loss programs out there pick one and just do it.

 

It was so true. It really doesn't matter the method you use to lose weight. IT IS THE STICKING TO A PLAN!!!! Hello!!!

 

That is why I haven't succeeded. I jump around, get bored, try this and that and never STICK WITH ANYTHING!

 

In church on Sunday someone made the comment Christ will help you move mountains, sometimes it is just a handful at a time. This too hit me.

I want this to be quick, easy, and effortless.

 

It WON'T be! It will take time, little by little, changing and STICKING to good habits will be what makes me successful.

 

I am tired of this roller coaster. I am tired of feeling defeated. I am tired of letting myself down.

 

I want to be healthy for myself and my family.

 

I saw this picture on my friend's facebook of us with our sweet new babies and I wanted to PUKE!

 

All I could think of was my DISGUSTING legs and how they look like chicken drumsticks. GROSS!

I want to be proud of my body. I want to look at a picture and see a beautiful moment in time not be ashamed of my failures.

So I headed back to the gym. I told myself until my Gym membership ends I have to go to this Thursday class. IT IS HARD Ya'll! I have been twice and am sore the next few days. I told myself all through the class, I don't care if you CRAWL OUT THE door, you are finishing!!! So I made it through BOTH times. I tripped over one of my weights last time and fell which usually would have embarrassed me out of class, but I got up and kept going.

It's a start and I am scared but I hope I can get some good support and inspiration and keep going!

I will update as much as I can!

Thanks for reading!